Saturday, October 31, 2009

Naked is naughty - so Stephen Vogler's book gets banned.

My friend Molly had a bath and then went running through the house, trailing suds and puddles, yelling, “I’m naked! I’m naked!”, exhilerated to be at that meeting point of the naughty and the natural.  She was only 3.

Stephen Vogler’s equally exhilerating ride through Whistler’s underbelly, Only in Whistler, also got the ‘too naughty’ nod this week, with BC Ferries admitting that the cover was not family friendly enough for them to stock it.

Stephen Vogler has always been an anti-establishment kind of guy. Not in a lock-up-your-children kind of way… more of a ooh-he-just-asked-a-question-that-is-making-the-gentry-here-squirm-in-their-starched-pants. After all, the man drives a converted school bus with enough letters peeled away to dub it the “C OOL BUS”, has his own soapbox, and was vocal in protesting the “deforestation’ of the lot that will now house the Celebration/Medals Plaza in Whistler.

That unique and uncensored voice (in the face of vigilant cops with video cameras) is the reason Harbour Publishing chose him to pen two books about Whistler. After all BC Ferries’ concern about the naughtiness of bare bums strikes at the heart of an age-old tension in Whistler – between the free spirited and the straighter-laced, the boho-ski-bum and the  investor, the early squatter and the indignant member of the “Alta Lake Ratepayers Assocation” who kept having their toilet paper nicked by freeloading ferals. (And that was in the days before Costco.)

Enter the Olympics (TM) painting another layer of whitewash on the community, and the question arises: Will the RMOW be enacting a by-law to prevent streaking?  Why not celebrate Whistler’s proud history of nudity? It doesn’t cost a thing.

stop....

Devo smetterla di complicarmi la vita quando non ce n’è bisogno.

Autolesionismo sta lontano da me.

Mi servirebbe un bello schiaffone in faccia a mano piena, una roba tipo gli schiaffono che Terence Hill e Bud Spancer davano ai cattivi dei film. magari mi passa un po’ di rincoglionimento. Che tra i mille impegni e i buoni propositi, sto sfarfallando un po’ troppo con la testa. Sembra che vada tutto troppo bene e ho bisogno di farmi male. Quindi meglio uno schiaffone formato gigante che la rovina di ciò che ho costruito con tanta cura, no?

DEVO SMETTERLA DEVO SMETTERLA

DEVO SMETTERLA DEVO SMETTERLA

DEVO SMETTERLA DEVO SMETTERLA

DEVO SMETTERLA DEVO SMETTERLA

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Denni Moore en topless

Como ya habiamos comentado tiempo atras, una de las cosas que hacen la vida mas soportable, es el ver en pantalla a una actriz que te quita en sueño… por tanto hacerte chaquetas a su salud en al noche, je y despues, viendo una pelicula diferente (generalmente mas vieja), te das cuenta de que la joven actriz que esta enseñando las nalgas o las tetas es la misma musa que te inspiraba los deseos mas puercos que tu sucia mente es capaz de idear. Neta, es algo tan gratificante que no hay palabras para describirlo en totalidad. Y para ejemple tenemos a la entonces muy jovencita Denni More, que en esta movie de olvidado nombre, aparece luciendo esos encantos que la transformaron en una de las actricez mas deseadas y mejor pagadas de los noventa. Sin embargo, tal vez no sea mucho en impacto de verla en cueros cuando era veintiañera, pues la Moore, alegremente mostro todo en el churro conocido como Streptease. Bueno, dejo a su consideracion tiranetera en cual cinta se veia mejor.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Inthecrack Lexy and Candy oiled up lesbians

Inthecrack Lexy and Candy oiled up lesbians

NOTICE: The content that you are about to view may contain material only suitable for adults. You must be at least 18 years of age to view this.

Gallery:
http://www.inthecrack.com/tgp/052×1562715xa4964

Now things get really messy as Candy squirts great gobs of baby oil all down Lexy’s ass and then fingers her pussy with 4 fingers. For a while Candy sits right on Lexy’s ass and pours oil down both of their asses and you see 4 glistening bum checks writhing against each other as Candy rides Lexy’s ass.

Facebook's a Cockblocker!

I’ve had an online presence for about a decade.  I’ll even admit it: I was on HotorNot.  Friendster.  FacetheJury.  They got old.  These days it’s on to Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and a blog.  Well, it was Facebook.  But as of this morning, they’re mad at me.  So, rather than throw up a half-assed new one, I’m dipping out.  (To my 768 friends, I still love you!)

It’s almost like God is giving me a bunch of extra time to work on my projects.  Funny thought though, because the farther you go down that road, the more you’ll find it leading back to you.  I posted those pictures.  I pushed the line.  This was all coming, all in due time.

That’s how I feel about this crazy video project too.  It’s something we had to do.  We couldn’t have planned this!

Saturday started with the 5th Annual Zombie Walk.  Of course Vinny and I went, camera’s rolling.  We shot the hell out of it!  The day before, I’d put an ad on Craigslist to help entice zombie killers to show up.  They came in a huge black bus with fake riot gear, gas masks and guns, but their imaginary ammo was no match for thousands of zombies marching and groaning through downtown Portland.  At the end, the zombies convened in Pioneer Square, where they performed their rendition of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video.  It was incredible!

As if that wasn’t enough fun for one day, Vinny and I headed home to clean the blood splatters off and have a quick wardrobe change: him into his usual suit and tie, me into my usual jeans, tank top with a sweater and running shoes.  Then we rolled down to the 5th Annual Distiller’s Festival at Bossanova.

Always looking for a back entrance, I ducked up a narrow walkway around the side of the building.  It ended at an unlocked gate to a little patio.  Vinny followed me in.  Oops!

This was not where we wanted to be.  Camera rolling, I led us into the tiny building, down a long hallway, through a dining area, the kitchen and another dining area until we came out the front door.  We’d gone in a circle!  After our little detour, we opted to go in via Bossanova’s main entrance.

“Lets do this the old fashioned way,” I said.  “We’ll ask nicely.”

The lady in the booth was pleasant and perfectly compliant.  We went upstairs.  Vinny and I split up to do our thing.  We managed to taste everything in the room: bacon vodka, chili-pepper vodka, absinthe, lots of bourbon and more.  But I had a half-marathon to run in the morning, so I had to take it easy.

I pulled out my list.  There was still so much to do!  And it was early.  We decided to push through.  Next stop was the 350 climate change awareness party.

Beer was free and entertainment was top notch.  The Sprockettes performed a few of their choreographed dance routines to local indie rock music, complete with tiny bikes!  I was telling them we should make a pro-bike video…  Naturally, I volunteered Vinny as cameraman.

It was right about then that an adorable little chick caught my eye, with a magnificent paper blossom on her head.  Her name was Gwen.  I just had to photograph her!

Gwen told us about how she made the accessory that I so admired.  It was modified from a Chinese lantern.  What a creative lady!  She explained that she recently moved to Portland to work as a PA in the film industry and she’d love an opportunity to be a part of our project.  (Isn’t that cute?!  She must not realize how low/no budget it is.)  Moments later, Vinny announced that he’d just got word of a bus full of naked people preparing to streak around Portland with pumpkins on their heads.  It was leaving in ten minutes.

“I don’t believe it,” I said, “but if it’s true, we have to get on that bus.”

Vinny agreed enthusiastically, “we have to get on that bus!”

Suddenly my hopes of running a half-marathon the next morning were dashed.  (Needless to say, the sacrifice was worth it.)

Vinny looked around frantically for a pumpkin, Gwen and I observing.  Was this really happening?  Vinny spotted a big one on a nearby shelf.

“Maybe I should steal it,” he wondered aloud, “the pumpkin is mandatory.”

“Well,” said Gwen, “I carved it.  How about I just let you have it?”

“That works!”  Vinny grabbed the pumpkin, quickly carved a hole in the bottom and ran for the bus.  I was already there.

According to the rules, everyone except for camera people had to have a pumpkin for their head and be completely naked.  (Turns out, the definition of “completely” does vary, depending on accessories.)  We’d be hitting several populated areas around Portland, streaking through a bunch of bars along the way.  What a hoot!

Before too long, the line between photographer and participant disappeared.  The other camera man and myself found our clothes being removed.  A lovely lady wearing only purple paint took care of my shirt and bra for me.  My pants stayed on.

Predictably, the police showed up.  The naked people weren’t even the problem – it was the flaming pumpkin on top of the bus.  Go figure.  I threw my shirt back on to film the lecture.

“This is purely an artistic endeavor,” explained our nearly naked leader, Gustav, “We know there’s a fine line between nude and lewd and we intend not to cross it.”  We do love pushing boundaries, don’t we?

The police man, visibly straining to contain his amusement, pulled out his notepad, asking our comrade’s name.

“Here, let me give you my card,” Gus said, one-upping.  (Where he had cards stashed remains a mystery.)  He reassured the police officer that no one was being sexual in any way.  Without further delay, the fire truck pulled away and the cops returned to duty.  Back on the bus, Gus shouted a warning:

“They’re letting us continue as long as we remain decent.  No jiggling your junk at anybody!”

“Vinny,” I said, “that means you.”

It was getting late.  The tour ended back where it began and everyone migrated inside to party.  Dudes were hilarious.

“I work for a member of congress,” said one of my fellow naked bus-riders, “Guess which one.”  I refused to guess – I didn’t care which!  My internal homing beacon began firing.  It was time to go.

I left the party on foot.  Within a minute or two, I heard someone following me.  He was trashed.

“Are you trying to give me a ride?”  I asked, “Because you look too drunk to drive.”  I laughed at myself.  “Which one of us is being more creepy right now?!”  He was so wasted – he couldn’t even reply.  “Give me your keys,” I said.  “I’ll drive.”

Poor guy.

He let me drive myself home, despite the fact that I couldn’t bring him inside.  I had to be up in two hours to take Mom to the airport.  Plus, Dad would flip.  The guy said he’d just sleep in his car.  Fine by me!  I went to bed.

At 4am, I was up again, still feeling buzzed on our way to the airport.  Mom asked me about the night, so I told her everything.  I was relieved that she laughed – considering her current situation (on her way to Memphis to see her ailing mother) she needed a laugh.

Back home, I returned to bed.  I woke up later with a phone full of messages, including a devastating one from Vinny:  The camera is gone.

WHAT?!

Vinny lost the camera.  I was going to kill him!  My heart palpitated a little while I wondered, “Is this how it ends?”  I instinctively readied myself for a quick reconnaissance mission.  I was going to find that damn thing.

Fortunately, Vinny beat me to it.  He went back to the party venue, where people were still chillin’ and sure enough, the camera had been found.

There was no time to spare.  I immediately switched gears, showered and got laced up for double-header kickball games.  Mud Muckers won ‘em both!  I was ecstatic.  By the end of the night I’d put 75 colorful pics from the weekend on Facebook in an album titled: ONE CRAZY ASS DAY.

They were awesome pics!  Yeah, so there were a few penises in there.  There were also lots of boobies!  No harm in that… Right?

Wrong!

When I got home from fitness conditioning today, my Facebook page was gone.  My account has been disabled.  Who knows if it’s permanent or for how long?  Oh well.  In the meantime, I’ll get lots of work done.

Stay tuned for the movie!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Inthecrack Eve Angel washing her perfect body

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Inthecrack Mya Diamond masturbates with glass dildo

Inthecrack Mya Diamond Glass Plunger

NOTICE: The content that you are about to view may contain material only suitable for adults. You must be at least 18 years of age to view this.

Gallery:
http://www.inthecrack.com/tgp/067×1562715x680fc

Mya does a full masturbation scene with a glass dildo that’s almost as beautiful as she is. Initially she just dabbles the dildo in her pussy fiddling around with it and getting her pussy opened up nicely. This is actually the best part of this clip with lots of open vagina views everytime th dildo comes out. All about details, details, details. Specifically the vagina, the clitoris, and the anus. We shrink your head to the size of a grape and stuff it in Mya’s privates to shamelessly explore in her most intimate places.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Return of the Shirtless Driver.

The Legendary Shirtless Driver

A year earlier, Thomas Accrual, was sitting half naked in his kitchen, alone and eating canned foods and stale bread all the while foaming at the mouth.  Literally he had the shirt stripped off his back when the stock market collapsed.  As a failed day trader, he had become nearly destitute and his wife and children had left him.  The days rolled into months and his unfortunate lonely condition morphed into a madness and an obsession over replacing the shirt that was stripped from his body.  In the darkness of his abandoned neighborhood, Thomas ran around with chainsaw in hand scaring innocent travelers.  His sanity was restored when he took from a poor, ignorant, person a very lucky T-shirt.  The loss of such a prized possession drove the victim of Thomas’ attack to the funny farm, but Thomas gained so much more than a shirt, he gained a brand new lease on life and the inspiration and confidence to live it right.  Now at the nook in his kitchen, Thomas was fully clothed, with his lucky T-shirt on, enjoying a Saturday morning breakfast with his family, that had recently returned.  Thomas’ life was going so well that he had almost forgotten the months he had acted like a ravenous lunatic, and there in lay a danger that he was ignorant of; for you see, the really fashionable T-shirt, that was made from the finest fibers and was designed by a great artist who shall go nameless, had recently been taken for granted.

On that same Saturday, Thomas decided to do some yard work.  Oddly the fall had been unseasonably warm, and the grass was growing as if the summer was still going strong.  While in the midst of mowing his yard Thomas was perspiring from just about every pore, so he decided to take off his shirt and carelessly threw it up on a branch of a young tree with thin limbs.

Almost immediately Thomas felt an odd feeling inside.  A mixture of fear and anger.  It was a familiar feeling, an unsettling feeling, a feeling most unwanted, and as the source of his curious feelings was realized it was already too late.  The discarded T-shirt was picked up by a gust of wind and had fell onto the handle bars of a teen age boy passing by on his bike.  At first glance the boy was excited over his happenstance acquisition.  Upon further examination he held up his nose and said, “Whew, I think Mom needs to wash this fabulous shirt before I put it on.”  He then folded it carefully over his handlebars and raced towards his home.  Having witnessed the boy take his T-shirt away, Thomas slipped back into his old lunatic self.

The Murderous Mower

Immediately, Thomas jumped on his green, John Deere, rider-mower, and went chasing after the boy.  Thomas’s wife also had witnessed what had happened, from her bedroom window, and was shocked by his transformation.  She ran out trying to save her husband from the madness that had once again infected him but by the time she got to the front door his mower had already sped away.     Like a steam engined filled with a raging fire in its furnace, Thomas’s murderous mower was racing towards the unsuspecting boy.  Thomas didn’t have to stay on the roads to catch his prey.  He mowed through yard after yard, and smashed through countless lawn jockeys, lawn gnomes, garden balls, and plastic pink flamingos.  He even managed to drive through an award winning rose bush and not once did he flinched from the  pains of the thorns piercing his flesh.

Finally the boy was in sight and Thomas drove up along side his bike.  Due to the loud music pouring into his ears from his over-sized headphones the boy did not even hear the roar of Thomas’ monstrous sounding engine.  Surprised, the boy found himself being lifted off of his bike, single handedly, by a strange shirtless man.  The boy screamed in terror.  Thomas snarled while the boy looked directly at his crazed captor.  Thomas was so blinded by his own rage he could only see the person who took the shirt and not the bike which had managed to be thrown ahead of the mower and thusly ran over and crushed by his maniacal rider-mower.  Thomas was about to inflict a major beating onto the boy, when he realized the boy did not have the shirt on him and that it must have remained on the bike.  Having panicked, Thomas threw the boy to the side of the road without any care and quickly turned around and raced to the mangled bike.

At first glance, all Thomas could see were twisted metal bars and tattered rubber scraps; however, upon further review of the accident scene he noticed the many torn pieces of the shirt that had saved his life.  He fell upon his knees and wept like a child.  Gone forever was his chance at a real life.  Certainly, he would lose everything dear to him again for he once more was naked from the waste up, and vulnerable to a world which had shown its utter disgust for pasty, flabby men without shirts.  He was hopeless to be sure but was he in fact helpless as he thought he was?

A white Ford Taurus pulled up to the scene of the accident; with the car placed in park, Thomas’ wife stepped out from the driver side.  She walked over to her troubled husband and placed a brand new T-shirt around his shoulder.  True it wasn’t an identical shirt but it featured an even cooler design from that T-shirt artist who shall remain nameless.  As well, there certainly was a renewed since of power, and freshness that came over Thomas as he put it on.  He stood up took a deep breath and gave his wife a warm smile of appreciation.   Thomas and his wife hugged and as relief filled his heart and mind Thomas said, “Thank Heaven for you Muffin.”

Mrs. Muffin???

His wife blushed and she explained, “Oh Tommy.  Don’t you know that I’ve taken precautions and ordered you a whole wardrobe of t-shirts and other quality apparel from that very same t-shirt website (that shall remain nameless) that saved your sanity.”

Thomas had forgotten that fact and now in hindsight he could do nothing else but laugh at the absurdity of his actions, and said, “So I suppose this whole event was for nothing.  It didn’t even need to occur…sort of like those sequels to bad monster movies.”

The wife smiled a curious grin as if she was in on some warped joked and then suggested that they go home and back to their normal life.  What that joke was however and the real identity of the woman called Muffin is a story for another time…(AND THAT TIME IS OCTOBER 2010 in the blockbuster conclusion to the Shirtless Driver trilogy entitled: THE SHIRTLESS DRIVER ALWAYS RINGS TWICE.)

Now as we leave this haunting tale, remember to always prepare for life’s unexpected events.  Don’t be caught with out a shirt on your back!  BUY THOMPSON’s T-SHIRTS!  BUY LOTS OF THEM!  DO IT NOW!  BEFORE ITS TOO LATE! OH! and have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The End?

Loved the Sequel?  Of course you did!  Now read the story that started it all:
“The Tale of the Shirtless Driver.“

Matt Thompson

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Flashback

Without life there can be no death and death is as much a release for someone as old as my grandmother was when she died. Just as it is a tragedy when someone as young as my youngest brother dies under suspicious circumstances.

Exactly one week to the day after attending the funeral for my youngest brother who lived in Tennessee. I stood in the foyer of the First Baptist Church in Lithia Springs Georgia with my two brothers and the other relatives selected as pall bearers.

But while I had been unable to say goodbye to my brother and still hadn’t come to terms with the shock of his unexpected death. I felt like celebrating instead of mourning having shouted for joy at the news of my Grandmothers passing. Not that I was happy by any means that my Grandmother was gone. Yet her passing meant that she would no longer have to suffer the indignity of a slow and lingering death.

As I stood there lost in my thoughts suddenly I heard the sultry voice of my mothers best friend. Looking up with a smile dancing on my lips when I saw Dee, whom I hadn’t seen in some time, walking towards me with a look of concern on her face.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Dee whispered into my ear when she took me into her arms and hugged me.

Then as Dee’ lips brushed my cheek and her breasts pressed against my chest when I returned her hug. Instantly I was transported back to the time many years before when my mother first introduced me to her new best friend.

When I first met Dee, a lovely goddess with long dark hair and dark eyes, not long after my sixteenth birthday. During one of my visits to my mothers apartment after I’d earned my drivers licence.

The moment I saw Dee it was like wow an instant hard on as the intensity of her feminine beauty blew my mind away. Back then, like my mother, Dee was in her early thirties and hadn’t lost the freshness of her sexual beauty. Nor had it even begun to fade or to wilt like a flower trapped in the heat of a hot summer day.

Standing next to my mother with her raven hair and dark eyes. Dee was a study in contrast compared to my mothers blonde hair and blue eyes. While her olive complection contrasted nicely with my mothers fair skin making Dee the darkness to my mothers lightness.

When I arrived at my mothers apartment they were dressed like twins in a low cut black evening dress that fit their curves snugly. Bringing to mind the Stephen King novel: “The Dark Half” that I’d recently read for an English assignment. Even though then was absolutely no hint or trace of evil in Dee’ demeanor or in her personality like it was in both of my stepmothers.

But while I knew better than to allow myself to be turned on by my mothers blatant display of her sexuality. There was no such taboo regarding Dee and the sexual attraction that I felt towards her. Plus I was well aware of societies acceptance of a sexual relationship between an older woman and a boy such as myself.

Still I was extraordinarily discreet whenever I managed to toss a  glance in Dee’ direction. Soon finding it nearly impossible not to let my eyes linger on the eye candy of her luscious curves. Especially since the tight fitting dress she was wearing enhanced lifted her perky breasts and the curves of her hips.

There are almost no words that can quite capture the essence of Dee’ sexuality. Nor had I been able trust any other members of the feminine persuasion. After having endured the emotional and physical abuse visited upon me by my vicious stepmothers.
But there was something about Dee, that even today I have trouble putting my finger on, that touches me in the depths of my inner being. Creating an instant connection between us as if I’d known her for years when in reality I’d only just met her that day.

Don’t get me wrong Dee is a strong willed and competent woman who is quite capable of being a bitch when she needs to be. But isn’t an outright bitch in the depths of her innermost being like both of my stepmothers are.

To put it bluntly like an all beef patty on a sesame seed bun Dee was everything a woman was meant to be. From the incredibly sexy curves of a goddess and the aura of feminine compassion that radiated outward from the innermost depths of her soul.

To the tough as nails attitude she managed to convey without any trace, whatsoever, of the hyper-masculinity the average feminist is so intent on emulating. More than any other woman that I’d met till then Dee was indeed like a hammer encased in a velvet glove.

A kind and gentle woman more then willing to do unto others as she would have them do unto her. But watch out for Dee was also like the proverbial tiger by the tail when provoked into action. Nor would she hesitate to do whatever was necessary and had to be done when her anger was fully aroused. Proving once again the adage: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Of course this meant that the moment my mother introduced me to Dee was like both love and lust at first sight. Since I couldn’t help but develop an intense crush on her having never actually been with a woman before. Even as her natural feminine beauty provoked the stirring’s of the hardest boner I’d ever experienced. While awakening the passionate desire to bed her at the very first available opportunity.
By the time I arrived at my mothers apartment she and Dee were just about finished getting ready. My mother had promised to take me out dancing in order to celebrate my recent birthday. If I passed the drivers test the following Saturday which would then enable me to drive out to her place.

What she didn’t tell me was that she had also arranged for her best friend Dee to be my unofficial date for the evening. Who at the moment happened to be between marriages, nor was she looking either, and was in the mood to party. Still I don’t think my mother quite intended for us to become hump buddies.

Walking into the dance club sandwiched between two of the most beautiful and eligible women in the area. Gave me a thrill that I’ll never forget while ignoring the stares of the other patrons. While staring down those of the males who looked at mother and Dee practically drooling in their beer with envy.

Mother and I danced first after we’d found a table leaving Dee alone for only a few minutes. As she fended off the desperate single males flocking about her like vultures. All of whom hoped to get lucky that night with her either in the backseat of their car or by going home with her.

Fortunately for me Dee hadn’t recovered from her recent acrimonious divorce which had only just become final. So she really wasn’t interested in dating or sleeping around with anyone. But because she saw me simply as her best friends son who only wanted to have a good time. She felt safe in spending the evening teaching me how to dance, pleased that I was more than willing as well as able to keep up with her.

Of course the greatest thrills of the evening came each time the music slowed down and Dee stepped into my arms. God it was hard not to show just how horny she made me each time we slow danced. Nor could I stop the hard on I got each time Dee pressed her ripe body against mine.

Totally aware of Dee’ breasts pressing against my chest as well as the palm of my hand on her waist. The scent of her flowery perfume filled my nostrils while fully arousing my manhood which brushed against her thigh from time to time. Though she never seemed to notice I’m convinced that Dee had to know the effect the closeness her body had on mine.

As hard as it was not to having been raised to be a gentleman by my mother. Not once did I ever come on to Dee or flirt with her unless I was responding to something she said. Afraid to make a clumsy or wrong move I was careful not to be too protective of Dee allowing her to deal with the barflies who bothered her.

Making it clear that I didn’t mind if she wanted to dance with someone else. Not once though did Dee accept any of the many offers to dance with any of the other men trolling the waters of the dance floor. So I had Dee all to myself much to the consternation of those who wanted to dance with her. The only exception being whenever my mother came up and asked me to dance with her which wasn’t very often.

It wasn’t until time to go as the dance club was closing that I actually began to suspect that something unusual was going on. When my mother, accompanied by the dance partner she’d spent most of the evening with, asked Dee if she’d take me back to her apartment.

Hinting that she probably wouldn’t come home until sometime after lunch the following day. Which didn’t surprise me in the least since I was well aware of my mothers sexuality. Plus I have to admit that she was a hot little number in the skin tight and low cut black evening dress she was wearing. Reminding me that it wasn’t only me who trolled the dance clubs and bars with the sun went down on Friday night.

Forty-five minutes later as I was about to  say something to Dee about not having the key to my mothers front door. My heart soared and my already over active imagination suddenly went into hyper drive. Requiring a massive dose of will power to bring it back down to reality and under control. When I suddenly realized that we weren’t headed in the direction of where my mother lived.

Nor did I recognize the apartment complex when Dee lived when she pulled up into the parking space in front of her apartment. Like always I hopped out of the car in order to open Dee’ door for her helping her out  then quietly escorted the lovely goddess to her front door. Keeping my expectations within reasonable limits since I figured at the moment that silence was the better part of valor.

Like my mother Dee lived in a small one bedroom apartment which contained a tiny dining area off the kitchen. As well as a small livingroom and one bathroom located across from Dee’ bedroom. Furnished as lavishly as my mothers best friend could afford on her salary as a secretary.

As soon as we walked through the front door I immediately parked my butt on the couch in the livingroom. Waiting patiently while Dee disappeared into the privacy of her bedroom. Knowing better than to follow her around like a lost puppy dog it was much safer to just assume I’d be sleeping on the couch.

Once Dee walked out of her bedroom and into her bathroom closing the door behind her while I still waited on her couch. Knowing that my mother wouldn’t arrive to  take me to her apartment until sometime the next day. All I could do was wait until Dee brought me the pillow and blanket that I would need to make myself comfortable.

About fifteen minutes after Dee reentered her bedroom I heard her call out my name requesting my presence. Hopping off the couch my heart beating rapidly against my rib cage in anticipation of what awaited me in the privacy of Dee’ lair.

I was after all well aware that my mothers best friend was an experienced woman who was well versed in the ways of men. While I was a mere slip of a boy compared to her as far as women like her were concerned. Whom Dee would have no trouble eating alive if she chose to do so as if I were a tadpole swimming in her pond.

Pausing for a moment with my hand on the doorknob of Dee’ bedroom door. I summoned up all the courage that I could muster before walking inside to face the lioness within the sanctuary of her den. Especially since the door had been left slightly ajar and the wasn’t any visible light leaking around the open edge.

With my heart thudding in my chest as I pushed the Dee’s bedroom open. The light of several flickering candles greeted me as I walked into the room. While the sweet scent of cinnamon incense tickled my nose as it filled the air from where it sat burning inside a metal incense burner.

Dee was sitting on the edge of her bed with her legs crossed dressed in a blue silk robe. The hem of which barely reached midway down her luscious and well toned thighs.“Don’t be shy, come and sit next to me.” my mothers best friend requested while patting the top of the bed next to where she sat.

Slowly and with measured steps, so that I wouldn’t appear too anxious, I walked over to where Dee sat. After settling down next to Dee on top of her bed I carefully placed the sweaty palms of my hands onto my knees and waited.

Turning my head a moment later towards Dee in order to look into the depths of her dark eyes. Even as she reached up to play with a lock of my hair with her fingers while I waited for her to make the first move. As young and inexperienced as I was  back then I instinctively knew better than to force myself on her. Especially since the potential consequences would devastate not just myself but my grandparents as well.

Dee sighed slightly exasperated at my boyish hesitation and shyness. Then leaned over and planted a kiss right on my lips, her tongue flicking out to tease my mouth. Soon  both of our tongues were chasing each other in and out of our mouths as my arm slowly slid around her waist.

As we sat there making out on the edge of  her bed Dee reached over and began fumbling with the buttons on my shirt. As I lay the palm of my free hand on her silky smooth thigh sliding it between her legs and up the hem of her rode.

Being  with Dee was the first time that I’d ever been intimate with a woman. And the hard on she provoked in my manhood nestled in the confines of my pants. Was the hardest boner that I’d ever experienced as it swell up with desire so hard I thought it would bust my zipper.

After unbuttoning my shirt Dee laid her hand on my throbbing lance for a few moments. The soft caress of the palm of her hand sending such a jolt through me that  nearly caused me to jump out of my skin. Starting at the base of my shaft Dee gently squeezed with her fingers working her way upwards. Until she nearly made me cum right then and there when she firmly squeezed the tip of my penis.

Having given me a taste of the pleasure in store for me Dee then helped me take off my shirt. Discarding it onto the floor out of the way after which she then slid down onto the floor on her knees before me. The first time a woman had ever kneeled in submission before me. Nor would it be the last as I’d relive this moment as often as possible in the future.

Unfastening my pants Dee then slid them along with my boxer shorts over my hips and off my butt. As I willingly cooperated with her by pushing down onto the bed with my hands raising up slightly. Then kicked off my shoes as she pulled my pants and underwear down my legs removing them along with my socks.

Holding my shaft steady with one hand Dee  then began to lick my throbbing penis with her tongue as if it were a lollipop. The gentle pressure of her lips when she took my little head into her mouth. Caused me to shiver even as a low moan escaped from between my lips. As Dee nearly drove me over the edge of the orgasmic cliff her mouth was pushing me towards.

Like an expert torturer who knows just how far to push their victim. Knowing exactly when to back off before killing them or rendering them unconscious. Dee stopped sucking releasing my manhood from the warmth of her mouth.

Climbing back to her feet to stand once more before me the light from the candles  illuminating Dee clearly. My mothers best friend then untied the belt holding her robe together. Pulling the flaps apart as she shrugged it off her shoulders while her fingers released the rustling fabric. As it fell onto the floor in a silky puddle around her ankles leaving Dee standing naked before me.
Except for the glimpses I’d managed to sneak of the girlie magazines. I hadn’t seen a woman naked since the day I accidently walked in on my mother when I was five years old. Captivated by the natural feminine beauty the goddess had blessed her with I could help but stare at her. Until she turned around and saw me then chased me out of the bedroom she shared with my father.

Just as the unexpected sight of my mother had captivated me so many years ago. The loveliness of Dee’ natural beauty took my breath away. As my eyes lingered on her ripe breasts and nipples as well as the triangular patch of hair between her thighs.

Then after allowing me a few moments to admire her natural beauty. Before I could stop gawking at her like a little boy with his mouth open. Dee walked over to me, placed both of her hands on my shoulders and pushed me backwards onto my back.

Forcing me to scoot up onto her bed even as she climbed on top of the bed. Until Dee was hunched over me on all fours as she straddled my body. Her knees resting on top of her bed besides my hips while she placed her hands beside my head. While the orbs of her luscious breasts dangled down towards my face like the teats of a jersey cow about to be milked.

Reaching upwards for the first time I cupped Dee’ luscious orbs in my hands. My fingers curling lightly about them while my thumbs teased her nipples causing them to harden instantly. Then Dee leaned down towards me as I lifted my head  upwards while pulling her nipples down to my lips.

A low moan escaped from between Dee’ lips as I ravished her breasts with my lips for quite some time. Teasing them with my tongue and nibbling her soft flesh with my teeth whenever I buried my face in the luscious valley of her cleavage.

Taking my time since we had the rest of the night and most of the following day to spend in each others arms. The last thing I wanted to do was rush where angels fear to tread. Bringing a premature end to the pleasure of each others bodies Dee and I were enjoying.

At last Dee reached down between my legs  her fingers tenderly curling around my lance. Steadying it so that my little head pointed straight up like a soldier standing at  attention. Then sat back up, pulling her nipples away from my lips, while leaning over just enough so that my fingers had no trouble reaching her breasts.

Raising her body up slightly Dee then positioned the flower of her womanhood over the lance of my manhood. Her body hovering like a humming bird as she rubbed the tip of my throbbing shaft. Against the moist oval of her wetness for a few moments before slowly inserting it into the depths of her wetness.

At last Dee slowly impaled herself on my manhood the soft warm caress of the inside of her body. Inspired the release of another moan from deep inside my lungs that I was not only unable but unwilling to suppress. While playing with the ripe orbs of Dee’ breasts even as my hips rose off the bed. In order to push my manhood into the flower of her womanhood all the way in to the hilt as I met her halfway.

Leaning against my hands for support Dee moaned as my fingers squeezed and massaged her luscious orbs. While clenching the muscles of her vagina tightly around my shaft, she slowly rose and fell as she slid up and down the pole of my manhood. Our grunts and cries mingling together echoing off of Dee’ bedroom walls as we bounced up and down on her bed.

For as long as possible I held back valiantly resisting the urge to cut lose. Until at last in an orgasmic rush so intense that it took my breath away my manhood exploded inside Dee’ body. Again and again my little head pulsed causing my hips to buck up and down in a frenzy.

At last it was over and the echos of the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced finely began to fade into memory. Climbing off of my body Dee lay down beside me snuggling into my arms as I wrapped them around her.

For quite some time we lay there making out our fingers exploring each others secret places. Inserting two of my fingers inside of my mothers best friends slit she began to sigh and moan as I briskly rubbed the nub of her clitoris.

Just before her loins began to spasm Dee reached down between my legs. The touch of her fingertips causing the lance of my manhood to spring back to life ready for action. This time I mounted Dee settling down between her thighs as she wrapped her arms and legs about my body. Resting her heels upon my buttocks in order to spur me on like a cowboy spurs his horse to run as fast as the wind.

Crying out when she felt herself spread open Dee smothered my face with kisses leaving a hickie on my neck. As my shaft easily slipped inside Dee’ love canal  her body eagerly engulfing the entire length of my manhood.

Spurring me on with her heels the tempo of our lovemaking increased. My hips rising and falling like the pistons in the engine of a high performance race car as Dee rose off the bed meeting me halfway.
Once again her bedroom walls echoed with our grunts, sighs and cries. As I nailed my mothers best friend driving her into an orgasmic frenzy. Refusing to stop even after my manhood exploded until Dee’ eyes rolled up into the back of her head.

Even then I lay on top of Dee for quite some time with my lance buried inside her still quivering body. My fingers and lips ravishing her breasts teasing and sucking her nipples. Exploring the luscious valley of her cleavage until the echos of the intense multiple orgasm I’d given Dee slowly faded away.

At last we slipped beneath the covers to fall asleep in each others arms. Spending the rest of the night and most of the morning recuperating by sleeping off our sexual intoxication.
Rising at last with enough time to take a shower together before my mothers expected arrival. Once again Dee allowed me to put my hands all over her body as we soaped each other down laughing and giggling like two silly kids.

Well aware of what had taken place since she was the one who’d arranged my passage into manhood. My mother wisely kept her comments to herself as we spent the rest of the weekend together. My thoughts constantly returning to Dee and the night we spent banging each other.

Nor did she object whenever I spent time alone with her best friend. While she was working or other wise engaged during my frequent  visits to her apartment. My sexual relationship with Dee soon fading towards the middle of the summer when I started working and wasn’t able to visit as often.

Still the time I spent making love to Dee was enough for her to teach me everything I needed to know in pleasing a woman. My confidence growing so that never again did I have any problems with girls of my own age that I couldn’t handle.

Suddenly I was back in the foyer of the church where my Grandmothers funeral was being held as Dee pulled away. Smiling to myself as I watched Dee’s hip sway back and forth as she sashayed across the room and disappeared.

The memory of the times Dee and I spent in each others arms. Warming my heart as I mourned the passing of my Grandmother throughout the rest of the day.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Conservative Teenagers Having Sex

New study suggests, U.S. states whose residents have more conservative religious beliefs have higher rate of teenagers giving birth.

The relationship could be due to the fact that communities with such religious beliefs (a literal interpretation of the Bible, for instance) are stupid enough to frown upon contraception, researchers say. If that same culture isn’t successfully discouraging them from doing each other, pregnancy and birth rates rise.

A researcher speculated on the most likely reason: "Dumb ass communities are more successful in discouraging the use of contraception among their teenagers than they are in discouraging sexual intercourse itself."

Data was compiled from various data sets. The religiosity information came from a sample of nearly 36,000 participants who were part of the U.S. Religious Landscapes Survey by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life conducted in 2007, while the teen birth and abortion statistics came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

For religiosity, the researchers averaged the percentage of respondents who agreed with conservative responses to eight statements, including: ”There is only one way to interpret the teachings of my religion," and ”Scripture should be taken literally, word for word."

Top 10 states with highest teen birth rates: Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Texas, Nevada, Georgia

Top 10 most conservatively religious states: Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Utah, North Carolina,  Alabama, South Carolina

 

Cause and effect?

Adamczyk says the idea that anti-contraception principles could be behind the link is controversial, as studies on the topic have varied results. "The idea is that in the heat of the moment, a young woman who has said, ‘I’m going to be a virgin on my wedding night,’ is with her boyfriend and she says ‘Let’s just do it.’ And since they didn’t plan it, nobody has a condom. And so it increases their chances of a pregnancy," Adamczyk said.

"In the south, there is a higher rate of marriage of teenagers. And one possible explanation is just that in the southern states, which are also more religious, people just get married earlier and have planned pregnancies and those have perfectly good outcomes," Strayhorn said. He added that he doesn’t think the earlier marriage idea explains the religion-birth link.

 

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Naked Pumpkins!

  Baby, it’s cold outside!  Early Winter here in Wisconsin, even the trees are freezing their nuts off.  Luckily we have a cure, at least a temporary one.

It’s time for the Badger Naturists / Friends of Mazo Beach annual Halloween Party!  Fearful Freaky Friday Night, a glorious 24 hours  (almost) of rampant http://caaneo.ca/about/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/winter-house.jpg nudity, swimming, hot tubbing and more!  Come shed your clothes and forget about the impending Winter gloom.

For all the details just check out the FOMB  website.  Maybe we’ll see you there!

October 24 & 25 2009,  West of Madison

Liv it, Luv it, Look at it naked: A TMI Thursday Guest Post from LiLu, the TMI Queen

Guys! I am at a perilous level of psychitude right now! Today is TMI Thursday, which is hosted, of course, by the lovely and hilarious LiLu of Livit, Luvit — but instead of dazzling you with tales of head-butting guys in the crotch or accidentally menstruating on not-pregnant women, I take a day off to present you with A VERY EXCITING GUEST BLOG!

LiLu herself — the tsarina of TMI — is here today to share her own tale of awkward, awkward woe. And, just in case that isn’t enough for you delightful vultures, allow me to disclaim, to your friggin’ delight, that NUDITY IS INVOLVED.

***

So. Hi there. I’m LiLu from Livit, Luvit, and I’m about to dirty up this place a bit with a Thursday Tale of TMI. (Check ‘em all out here, if you’re not, yanno, a total Wuss with a capital W.)

“That Kind of Girl” is one of my very favoritest new blog discoveries, because her format is so different and adorable and well-written and, as Family Guy has said about Hugh Grant, “charmingly befuddled”. Though she is just a tad (coughcoughWAYcough) more sophisticated than I, we undeniably share one thing in common…

Making a jackass out of ourselves. Preferably in public.

The only difference?

She does it for sport. And blog fodder.

I do it because I can’t help it.

Life is hard.

Anytwaddle, when she asked me if I would guest post an experience in her format, where I do something outside of my natural instincts, I thought long and hard (TWSS)…

And then realized the one thing I have left, the one secret, the one characteristic none of you would guess about me, especially considering all the times I’ve joked about stripping for Jesus or openly discussed things of sexual and/or personal womanly nature in my TMI Thursdays…

I cannot STAND being naked in front of strangers.

Wait, when I say it that way, it doesn’t sound so weird. Okay, let me rephrase.

I cannot STAND being naked in the locker room at work where I am constantly surrounded by 50 something women who could care less that their dirty pillows and baby caves are freeballing in the wind, while I’m frantically scurrying next to them to pull my underoos up under the towel I’m awkwardly hunched underneath while sort of trying to hide IN my locker.

Yeah. I’m that girl.

The Kind of Girl Who cannot bear to be naked in front of other women in a locker room.

I know, I know! It makes no sense. ME, of all people. ME, who is beginning to think “shame” must be a foreign word, because it means nothing to me.

I can’t help it… somewhere deep in my DNA is written “be deathly afraid of strange women who might judgeth thou’s back jiggle”. And it sure doesn’t help that, since my gym is in my office building, I have to see the majority of these ladies in the halls at some point, and desperately try NOT to recall what they looked like an hour ago as they strolllllllllled from the shower to their locker in the birthday suit, towel wrapped ILLOGICALLY around their head instead of their torso (What. The. EFF!!!!!) I don’t know why… it’s not that I’m ashamed. I look pretty damn good, especially compared to most of them. It’s just… I don’t know. In the words of Charlotte York, I DID NOT COME FROM A NAKED FAMILY.

So, this brings us to my little (personal) social experiment. In order to overcome this Self Truism, I would have to do the unthinkable…

And walk across the locker room nekkid as a jaybird.

LiLu has a name and it’s P-E-T-R-I-F-I-E-D.

So, yesterday, it was down to the wire. I’d promised That Kind of Girl the post and I’m no post-wencher. I hit the gym, worked out extraaaa long in a futile attempt to postpone the inevitable, and finally walked into the locker room- trembling, and not just from the workout- to Do The Deed.

I got out of the shower, toweled off, sighed dramatically even though no one could hear me, wadded up my belongings with optimal positioning in front of my hooha and funbags (it’s not cheating, says ME)…

And sauntered to my locker like it was just another damn day.

(Okay, so it was more like “skedaddled” than “sauntered”. CUT ME SOME SLACK. NUDE GIRL WITH THE PURPLEY HUE OF EMBARRASSMENT ACROSS HER FACE COMING THROUGH.)

I was halfway to safety when, I shit you not…

The fucking lights went out.

At first I was terrified. Naked in the dark surrounded by strangers? Notsomuch. But then I realized I had inadvertently beaten my assignment, as I was now shrouded in darkness, and I scuttled over to my locker with glee.

It would have been great if I hadn’t bumped into my office manager on the way.

Sigh. It ain’t easy bein’ green me.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Airport trials 'naked' x-ray scanner

Airport trials 'naked' x-ray scanner

AN x-ray machine which takes “naked” images of airline passengers is undergoing trials in England as part of a new high-tech security system.

Manchester Airport has begun using the full-body scan machine which can instantly detect any hidden weapons or explosives without passengers having to remove any of their clothing for a search.

However, some passengers fear the machine reveals a little too much, including breast enlargements, the outline of genitals and body piercings.

Airport officials insist the black and white images taken of passengers in the walk-through booth machine were not pornographic and would be destroyed immediately.

A three-dimensional image is then created and assessed by an officer sitting in a separate part of the airport.

Passengers at the airport still have the option of refusing a scan and opting for the more traditional security checks.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

getting messy

just gonna write a bit of a me me me post, i studied illustration at st martins and most of my illustration projects included photography which is probably why i ended up being a photographer….it rugby tackled me into submission, but that doesnt mean i dont like to draw every so often, my style has always been big and messy and i like drawing sexy naked ladies cos i think they are engaging…here is a work in progress shot

and this i think….for now is the final thing….i always forget to put backgrounds in my pics….they bore me.

so yeah when im not working i like to draw which kinda i suppose is in the same vein as working….oh well!

what next….

Em x

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Naked Man Flees After Groping Sleeping Teen

Police are searching for a man who broke into a woman’s bedroom and fondled her.

The 18-year-old Sioux Falls woman awoke in her bed when she felt someone pushing her, police spokesman Sam Clemens said.

She told officers she saw a naked man standing over her and touching her, Clemens said. He ran out of the room when she screamed, Clemens said.

Her brother heard the scream and saw the man run out the front door, Clemens said.

The door to the home, on South Dundee Drive, which the victim shares with her brother, was unlocked.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

An Erotic Dream

Standing just under five feet tall Candy was a powerhouse of feminine sexuality and sensuality. Whose lithesome and curvaceous figure sometimes brought her a little more attention from the guys then she wanted. But this time Candy found herself getting laid in the back of a customized black van parked in an out of the way corner of the parking lot of the department store where she worked.

Not by her boyfriend who was supposed to pick her up after work but had somehow become distracted and lost all track of time or perhaps just plain forgot. Of course it wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been her boyfriends voice Candy had heard. Instead of the disembodied feminine voice that had said hello when she’d called her boyfriends cell phone to find out where he was.

So that now Candy found herself straddling the waist of one of her customers who lay on his back on top of the bed built into the very back of his van. Their clothes lying in disarray right where they’d fallen on the carpeted floor after being hastily pulled and tugged off their bodies. The entire length of Candy’s impromptu lover’s rock hard and throbbing cock buried all the way up to its hilt inside the velvety glove of her hot and wet pussy.

With the orbs of Candy’s perky breasts cupped securely within the palms of her impromptu brown haired and sky blue eyed lovers hands. His fingers gently squeezing the ripe and firm orbs of the cashiers mammary glands from time to time while his thumbs rested on top of the circular buttons of Candy’s nipples. Each gentle downward push of her brown haired and sky blue eyed lovers thumbs causing Candy to moan softly as she rose and fell. Her hips propelling the rock hard and throbbing shaft of her impromptu lovers manhood  as far up inside the wetness of her love canal as possible.

Then suddenly without any warning what so ever Candy found herself lying upon her back. All four of her limbs instinctively wrapping themselves about her impromptu lovers muscular and well toned body. Trapped between their bodies Candy’s nipples pressed hard against her brown haired and sky blue eyed lovers chest. As Candy’s impromptu brown haired and sky blue eyed lover reached down and slid his hands beneath her backside. In order to cup the twin ovals of the well endowed cashier’s tight little ass securely within the palms of his hands. Which he intentionally used along with his weight to hold Candy in place beneath his body.

Now it was Candy’s brown haired and sky blued eyed impromptu lovers turn to thrust the entire length of his rock hard and throbbing cock upwards inside the sweetness of the flower of Candy’s womanhood. Bracing his feet against the wall of the van at the foot of the bed harder and harder the only remaining Dark Lord pushed. His hips rising and falling ever faster with the tempo of his movements all the while increasing continuously. Until at last Candy threw back her head and cried out in ecstasy as she came again and again and then some more.

Thirty years later Candy awoke from her vivid and highly charged erotic dream beneath the covers of her bed screaming in ecstasy as her loins climaxed again and again and then some more. Where she lay trembling all over and her heart racing inside her chest as Candy relived the night just after she’d turned twenty. When in the arms of the only remaining Dark Lord she soared ever higher above the clouds of orgasmic bliss.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Naked and free

Ok, so I haven’t read it all yet, but I’ve had a skim and there are certainly some interesting and grace filled points made in the closing pages of this free, yes free, e-book. I’m posting it now as it may not remain free forever.

Called the Naked Gospel, the author Andrew Farley seeks to explain God’s message of grace with the over arching aim of releasing people from the burden of guilt. Appropriate for Christians and those not yet, I think this message is an important one and whilst I can’t comment on the full extent of the theology within the pages (that’s my disclaimer until I’ve read it all), there are many people who could do with a little assistance grasping this concept. I count myself fully in that category, I’m so glad that God has been working on that issue in my life this year and equally thankful that he has reinforced this message of love and grace in many different aspects of my faith journey, but significantly through my church.

Have a read, as I will be doing, it’s not very long, be discerning and let me know what you think.