I can sit up today, though not for long periods (due to the spinal tap head pains). I hope I’m not losing even more muscle mass by having to rest until my head pain is gone because that would be awful. I asked Frank if it was all right if I liked how I looked and he said it was fine, of course. But then I reminded him how concerned he was when I ordered myself a pair of 00 Petite pants earlier in the week; they fit wonderfully but he cautioned me that, if I got them, I would think it was okay to be a 00 Petite and would do what I could not to outgrow the pants. So how was liking myself at 97 pounds fine and getting pants in the right size for my 97-pound body wrong? It makes me feel uncomfortable and I can’t help thinking, What happens if I go down to 92 pounds and still don’t mind how I look? Is that okay? When is it time for me to be hospitalized? Only if I get down to 70 pounds? (I know, I was being unfair. Frank was trying to be supportive, knowing how much I battle with my self-image, and I had to be a bitch in catching him in an inconsistency, reminding me how he’s worried about me, which wasn’t right of me. He’s incredibly patient to put up with me.)
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