Naked Pumpkins!

  Baby, it’s cold outside!  Early Winter here in Wisconsin, even the trees are freezing their nuts off.  Luckily we have a cure, at least a temporary one.

It’s time for the Badger Naturists / Friends of Mazo Beach annual Halloween Party!  Fearful Freaky Friday Night, a glorious 24 hours  (almost) of rampant http://caaneo.ca/about/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/winter-house.jpg nudity, swimming, hot tubbing and more!  Come shed your clothes and forget about the impending Winter gloom.

For all the details just check out the FOMB  website.  Maybe we’ll see you there!

October 24 & 25 2009,  West of Madison

Liv it, Luv it, Look at it naked: A TMI Thursday Guest Post from LiLu, the TMI Queen

Guys! I am at a perilous level of psychitude right now! Today is TMI Thursday, which is hosted, of course, by the lovely and hilarious LiLu of Livit, Luvit — but instead of dazzling you with tales of head-butting guys in the crotch or accidentally menstruating on not-pregnant women, I take a day off to present you with A VERY EXCITING GUEST BLOG!

LiLu herself — the tsarina of TMI — is here today to share her own tale of awkward, awkward woe. And, just in case that isn’t enough for you delightful vultures, allow me to disclaim, to your friggin’ delight, that NUDITY IS INVOLVED.

***

So. Hi there. I’m LiLu from Livit, Luvit, and I’m about to dirty up this place a bit with a Thursday Tale of TMI. (Check ‘em all out here, if you’re not, yanno, a total Wuss with a capital W.)

“That Kind of Girl” is one of my very favoritest new blog discoveries, because her format is so different and adorable and well-written and, as Family Guy has said about Hugh Grant, “charmingly befuddled”. Though she is just a tad (coughcoughWAYcough) more sophisticated than I, we undeniably share one thing in common…

Making a jackass out of ourselves. Preferably in public.

The only difference?

She does it for sport. And blog fodder.

I do it because I can’t help it.

Life is hard.

Anytwaddle, when she asked me if I would guest post an experience in her format, where I do something outside of my natural instincts, I thought long and hard (TWSS)…

And then realized the one thing I have left, the one secret, the one characteristic none of you would guess about me, especially considering all the times I’ve joked about stripping for Jesus or openly discussed things of sexual and/or personal womanly nature in my TMI Thursdays…

I cannot STAND being naked in front of strangers.

Wait, when I say it that way, it doesn’t sound so weird. Okay, let me rephrase.

I cannot STAND being naked in the locker room at work where I am constantly surrounded by 50 something women who could care less that their dirty pillows and baby caves are freeballing in the wind, while I’m frantically scurrying next to them to pull my underoos up under the towel I’m awkwardly hunched underneath while sort of trying to hide IN my locker.

Yeah. I’m that girl.

The Kind of Girl Who cannot bear to be naked in front of other women in a locker room.

I know, I know! It makes no sense. ME, of all people. ME, who is beginning to think “shame” must be a foreign word, because it means nothing to me.

I can’t help it… somewhere deep in my DNA is written “be deathly afraid of strange women who might judgeth thou’s back jiggle”. And it sure doesn’t help that, since my gym is in my office building, I have to see the majority of these ladies in the halls at some point, and desperately try NOT to recall what they looked like an hour ago as they strolllllllllled from the shower to their locker in the birthday suit, towel wrapped ILLOGICALLY around their head instead of their torso (What. The. EFF!!!!!) I don’t know why… it’s not that I’m ashamed. I look pretty damn good, especially compared to most of them. It’s just… I don’t know. In the words of Charlotte York, I DID NOT COME FROM A NAKED FAMILY.

So, this brings us to my little (personal) social experiment. In order to overcome this Self Truism, I would have to do the unthinkable…

And walk across the locker room nekkid as a jaybird.

LiLu has a name and it’s P-E-T-R-I-F-I-E-D.

So, yesterday, it was down to the wire. I’d promised That Kind of Girl the post and I’m no post-wencher. I hit the gym, worked out extraaaa long in a futile attempt to postpone the inevitable, and finally walked into the locker room- trembling, and not just from the workout- to Do The Deed.

I got out of the shower, toweled off, sighed dramatically even though no one could hear me, wadded up my belongings with optimal positioning in front of my hooha and funbags (it’s not cheating, says ME)…

And sauntered to my locker like it was just another damn day.

(Okay, so it was more like “skedaddled” than “sauntered”. CUT ME SOME SLACK. NUDE GIRL WITH THE PURPLEY HUE OF EMBARRASSMENT ACROSS HER FACE COMING THROUGH.)

I was halfway to safety when, I shit you not…

The fucking lights went out.

At first I was terrified. Naked in the dark surrounded by strangers? Notsomuch. But then I realized I had inadvertently beaten my assignment, as I was now shrouded in darkness, and I scuttled over to my locker with glee.

It would have been great if I hadn’t bumped into my office manager on the way.

Sigh. It ain’t easy bein’ green me.

Airport trials 'naked' x-ray scanner

Airport trials 'naked' x-ray scanner

AN x-ray machine which takes “naked” images of airline passengers is undergoing trials in England as part of a new high-tech security system.

Manchester Airport has begun using the full-body scan machine which can instantly detect any hidden weapons or explosives without passengers having to remove any of their clothing for a search.

However, some passengers fear the machine reveals a little too much, including breast enlargements, the outline of genitals and body piercings.

Airport officials insist the black and white images taken of passengers in the walk-through booth machine were not pornographic and would be destroyed immediately.

A three-dimensional image is then created and assessed by an officer sitting in a separate part of the airport.

Passengers at the airport still have the option of refusing a scan and opting for the more traditional security checks.

getting messy

just gonna write a bit of a me me me post, i studied illustration at st martins and most of my illustration projects included photography which is probably why i ended up being a photographer….it rugby tackled me into submission, but that doesnt mean i dont like to draw every so often, my style has always been big and messy and i like drawing sexy naked ladies cos i think they are engaging…here is a work in progress shot

and this i think….for now is the final thing….i always forget to put backgrounds in my pics….they bore me.

so yeah when im not working i like to draw which kinda i suppose is in the same vein as working….oh well!

what next….

Em x

Naked Man Flees After Groping Sleeping Teen

Police are searching for a man who broke into a woman’s bedroom and fondled her.

The 18-year-old Sioux Falls woman awoke in her bed when she felt someone pushing her, police spokesman Sam Clemens said.

She told officers she saw a naked man standing over her and touching her, Clemens said. He ran out of the room when she screamed, Clemens said.

Her brother heard the scream and saw the man run out the front door, Clemens said.

The door to the home, on South Dundee Drive, which the victim shares with her brother, was unlocked.

An Erotic Dream

Standing just under five feet tall Candy was a powerhouse of feminine sexuality and sensuality. Whose lithesome and curvaceous figure sometimes brought her a little more attention from the guys then she wanted. But this time Candy found herself getting laid in the back of a customized black van parked in an out of the way corner of the parking lot of the department store where she worked.

Not by her boyfriend who was supposed to pick her up after work but had somehow become distracted and lost all track of time or perhaps just plain forgot. Of course it wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been her boyfriends voice Candy had heard. Instead of the disembodied feminine voice that had said hello when she’d called her boyfriends cell phone to find out where he was.

So that now Candy found herself straddling the waist of one of her customers who lay on his back on top of the bed built into the very back of his van. Their clothes lying in disarray right where they’d fallen on the carpeted floor after being hastily pulled and tugged off their bodies. The entire length of Candy’s impromptu lover’s rock hard and throbbing cock buried all the way up to its hilt inside the velvety glove of her hot and wet pussy.

With the orbs of Candy’s perky breasts cupped securely within the palms of her impromptu brown haired and sky blue eyed lovers hands. His fingers gently squeezing the ripe and firm orbs of the cashiers mammary glands from time to time while his thumbs rested on top of the circular buttons of Candy’s nipples. Each gentle downward push of her brown haired and sky blue eyed lovers thumbs causing Candy to moan softly as she rose and fell. Her hips propelling the rock hard and throbbing shaft of her impromptu lovers manhood  as far up inside the wetness of her love canal as possible.

Then suddenly without any warning what so ever Candy found herself lying upon her back. All four of her limbs instinctively wrapping themselves about her impromptu lovers muscular and well toned body. Trapped between their bodies Candy’s nipples pressed hard against her brown haired and sky blue eyed lovers chest. As Candy’s impromptu brown haired and sky blue eyed lover reached down and slid his hands beneath her backside. In order to cup the twin ovals of the well endowed cashier’s tight little ass securely within the palms of his hands. Which he intentionally used along with his weight to hold Candy in place beneath his body.

Now it was Candy’s brown haired and sky blued eyed impromptu lovers turn to thrust the entire length of his rock hard and throbbing cock upwards inside the sweetness of the flower of Candy’s womanhood. Bracing his feet against the wall of the van at the foot of the bed harder and harder the only remaining Dark Lord pushed. His hips rising and falling ever faster with the tempo of his movements all the while increasing continuously. Until at last Candy threw back her head and cried out in ecstasy as she came again and again and then some more.

Thirty years later Candy awoke from her vivid and highly charged erotic dream beneath the covers of her bed screaming in ecstasy as her loins climaxed again and again and then some more. Where she lay trembling all over and her heart racing inside her chest as Candy relived the night just after she’d turned twenty. When in the arms of the only remaining Dark Lord she soared ever higher above the clouds of orgasmic bliss.

Naked and free

Ok, so I haven’t read it all yet, but I’ve had a skim and there are certainly some interesting and grace filled points made in the closing pages of this free, yes free, e-book. I’m posting it now as it may not remain free forever.

Called the Naked Gospel, the author Andrew Farley seeks to explain God’s message of grace with the over arching aim of releasing people from the burden of guilt. Appropriate for Christians and those not yet, I think this message is an important one and whilst I can’t comment on the full extent of the theology within the pages (that’s my disclaimer until I’ve read it all), there are many people who could do with a little assistance grasping this concept. I count myself fully in that category, I’m so glad that God has been working on that issue in my life this year and equally thankful that he has reinforced this message of love and grace in many different aspects of my faith journey, but significantly through my church.

Have a read, as I will be doing, it’s not very long, be discerning and let me know what you think.