We of Wocview know when something is done right. And in this case it’s a photoshoot of a few sexy Chinese women playing soccer. Although we cannot acknowledge that these are the women of the Chinese soccer team. We don’t recognize them, so we think they are models. Nontheless they made some nice pictures. (The left bottom corner says: current model male)
It’s a risky business, dressing myself.
Naked, I am least exposed.
I was built from the outside in,
swaddled early in soft fibrous love
grafted onto my raw bones in tight stitches,
so I could bear myself upright.
Now, it’s difficult.
Every morning, I find my seams have gaped.
When I walk from my bed to the toilet,
the burlesque clatter of beads dogs my steps, I leak
a trail of sequins from between my thighs,
attracting the crows.
I am turning inside out,
I can reach inside and finger
the soft wet nap of my life,
and digging deeper into my disgorged trunk,
pull a rag of lace, bitten by my bile
into delicate patterns, to hold up to the light.
My skin is nothing,
I am turning inside out.
I cannot find the dress that was my mother.
Whipcord pleated habit.
The hobbling platform boots that were my fathers’ shoulders
have lost a silver buckle.
A carnival panic rises
from the folds of my true nature
tangled at my feet, in intestinal shreds,
My skin is nothing.
I can’t get everything back inside,
and I cannot leave without it,
I will have to put it on, all of it.
My blistered heart is the pendant
I hang around my neck.
See a cute top or pair of jeans in an online pic or a magazine that you just had to have? Well, perusing through pictures in search of good clothes is a thing of the past! That’s what the fellas over at “Wrangler Europe” would have you think anyways.
In the new flash-based Wrangler website, you can not only shop by watching short movies of models sporting the most recent line, but by pushing them down, un-zipping their shirts, and tossing them around the screen.
From the homepage, you can browse through several “chapters” of a couple (fully clad in Wrangler attire) getting ready for a motorcycle ride. But the fact that you can select the models’ “looks” brings an added element of excitement that can only be matched by mix n matching your Barbie and Ken doll’s favorite summer outfits (Hey, whatever you’re into).
The Wrangler Europe website and snazzy interactive gallery can be found here: http://eu.wrangler.com/#/collection
If you dig a little deeper during your visit to the WE site (not to be confused with Women’s Entertainment), you’ll stumble upon the “Wrangler Blue Bell” page…which is where the fun really starts.
Wrangler Blue Bell: http://eu.wrangler.com/bluebell/#/collection/0
The first step is simple: unzip the confused man’s jacket as he enigmatically greets you with his dazed and “cant-decide-if-i’m-about-to-cry” stare. Click the arrow to the right and then you get to rough him up a bit! Drag him and the rest of his many “looks” to and fro, making him stumble and trip in his nicely coordinated outfit. Not sure if this will make you want to buy clothes, but it might make you want to throw around the next model you see posing outside of Abercrombie and Fitch.
I suppose these types of online interactive clothing catalogues are meant to let you see how clothes look and fit on real people in their day-to-day lives…even if they are rolling all over the floor or riding beat up Harley’s.
The last thing to see on the website is simply too weird and possibly disturbing for words. It’s their newest ad campaign for Spring/Summer 2010 titled, “We Are Animals.” But after viewing the pictures (and bleaching my eyeballs to get the weirdness out), I think the campaign should have been more appropriately titled “We Are Half-Naked Zombie Vampires With Pants.”
If anything, check it out just to gape at what kind of strange ad strategies companies are using these days just to sell a pair of blue jeans: http://eu.wrangler.com/#/weareanimals/campaign
I get asked about why I started this, and what I hoped to achieve through it. Most people assume its just about getting action, or just trying to play the odds and see if anything sticks. If you date a hundred girls, how many of them really impact you? How many of them do you really want to see again? How many can you see inside of?
A lot of this has to do with me still searching for that teenage feeling, that girl that comes out of nowhere, and knocks your socks off. As I get older, drunker, and more cynical those girls get fewer and farther between. You can meet great girls that are funny, smart, sweet, and incredibly flexible, and you’d date them because, well, you have no reason not to. I’m just trying to find my way home through all of this. There are Calypsos, sirens, Cyclopes, and suitors that you have to wade through. I knew in 100 days, a little over three months I would encounter them all, it was just a matter of where I would wind up.
One day before the hundred started, I spent it like how spent most of the following hundred: Drinking more than I should, procrastinating at work, and shooting the shit with Kara over GChat. There was nothing unremarkable. No life changing omens and signs filled my day.
In my head I convinced myself that this was going to be some life-defining voyage. I decided that I had to become something bigger than myself, part of the reason for undertaking the alias. By becoming Travis Dillinger, I could feel a sense of detachment from the whole thing. I was working towards a goal, and I may falter and slip, but I would see it through to the end. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t fall for any of these girls, and I certainly wouldn’t go on a second date with any of them. But I knew that was something the real me would have an issue with. Travis Dillinger would be the serial dater to my serial monogamist. Travis would be a part of me, maybe even all the worst parts of me, that I birthed on the sixth of November, and I would just embrace it.
I’ve heard it said that cleaning the house naked cures anyone of their bad feelings about their bodies. I was determined to change my thoughts about my body, and if that meant cleaning curtains; sweeping and mopping; vacuuming; and dusting shelves in the buff, well it’s one of the things you gotta do. I was hoping to love every lump, bump, and dimple by the time I was done.
I was spending Thursday morning cleaning in the Big House… Wait, I think I failed to mention I’m a cleaning lady? I work for a company called, “The Pink Cleaners”. We’re those ladies that go around cleaning the houses of rich people and we usually wear these perky bubble gum pink shirts. This was a long time client so I knew no one was going to be home. My thinking was why not be a little adventurous and clean naked? Who’s going to see me, the dog?
Anyway, there was I was dusting the fireplace when I heard the back door open. I dropped the duster in surprise. Oh shoot! No one’s suppose to be home! I was trapped in the room because the only way out would take me right into the path of the person entering. Footsteps signaled that the unknown person was about to enter the room. Quick thinking made me duck behind the couch I had pulled out to vacuum behind.
I was cowering, in all my naked glory, when it dawned on me. I had dropped my clothes on the chair by the fireplace. I raised my head to see who the person was. Double damn-excuse my language-apparently the owners college age son had picked today to come home for a visit. Doesn’t he believe in staying at school and getting plastered like normal college students?! What is college teaching kids these days?
So there I am, naked as the day I was born, trapped in a room with the boss’s son, and hiding behind a couch. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. How was I going to get outta this? I’m trying to devise a scheme when he approaches the couch and precedes to push the couch against the wall.
“Ouch!” I screeched
“Hello?” He looks behind the couch and spots me crouching there. ”Aren’t you the cleaning lady?”
No, I thought, I’m the nude statue your parents bought. ”Um… Yes, I am.” Yes, I am naked cleaning lady behind your couch
He looked at me for a really long time. I was ready to scream after what felt like an hour of him looking at me. He’s in college, surely he’s seen naked girls before. The only difference was I was sober.
“You wanna hand me my clothes.” I was hoping my speaking would snap him out of his too close observation. My expression was less than friendly at that moment. I’m pretty sure my face rivaled thunderclouds for being ominous and stormy.
“Sure, but you have to tell me why you’re naked first.” He was laughing now
What the heck do I tell him? I was cleaning his parent’s house naked because I wanted to be more comfortable with my body? That somehow doesn’t sound as good.
“I… I… Got cleaning solution all down my clothes and was going to change when you walked in.” That sounded good enough to me.
He walked to the chair and retrieved my clothes. Right as I was thought he was going to hand them back, he unfolds them and looks them over. He cocks an eyebrow in my direction. Ok, so he didn’t believe me, but that was all he was getting today.
“Look, just give me my clothes so I can finish cleaning.” I could see why his social life was lacking if this is how he treated naked girls he ran into.
He handed my clothes to me and laughed when I snatched them out of his hands. He stood there with his arms crossed and waited for me to stand up.
“Do you mind?!” My voice had gone from scared to angry in minutes.
He turned his back and I wished I could chuck something at his head. I seem to get myself in messes like this more often than not. Sigh.
“I’m going to ask you a favor, don’t tell your parents about this and I’ll owe you one.”
“Oh, I wasn’t planning on telling my parents, but I’ll be happy to have you owe me a favor.” His smile scared me more him catching me naked. This twerp was going to con me into something, I could feel it, but what choice did I have? This was my best client. A cleaning lady’s gotta do what a cleaning lady’s gotta do.
He was still smiling as he walked out of the room. I finished cleaning, completely clothed and left at the end of the day.
I haven’t heard from him yet, but I wait for it to come. I also gave up cleaning naked, there’s something about getting caught once that makes you look for other ways to like yourself. I’m concentrating my efforts on more vacations and massages, that’s the best plan I’ve had in a long time.
I wonder if she’ll change her stance on aerial wolf hunting…
Dale Robertson, the founder of TeaParty.org, figured out Sarah Palin has infiltrating his movement. Dale Robertson, the leader who has difficulties spelling the “N word”, wants “his party back”.
I am sending an alarm to the Tea Party membership! Be alert to turncoats and deceivers being herded into the Tea Party by usurpers from the weakened Republican Party for the sole purpose of capturing our populist movement. Our political ideals were once theirs and our immense growth has created a lusting for their good old days!
Sarah Palin’s well delivered speech and her attractive demeanor is little more than a veneer for her less attractive political philosophy. She seems more like a duck out of water among true Conservative Constitutionalists. Palin demonstrates her NeoCon flippant viewpoint and her naïveté as she seems envious of the swelled numbers of Patriots pledging their allegiance, to of all things, AMERICA and not to a kool-aid ridden political dinosaur.
Wow! Turncoat and Palin in the same sentence? I’m starting to like this guy!
Sarah Palin is not dense or erroneous in her view of the Tea Party, just the opposite. She represents a growing insider’s attack to the heart of the Tea Party. Very much like a wolf in sheep’s clothing entering in at the gate as an ally, but for all intents and purposes there to seize and capture, not only one or two stray sheep, but the whole flock!
He’s figure out the Tea Party is being USED. Welcome to OUR world. Alaska was just a step for Palin on her way to the money.
Is the Faith of the Tea Party being replaced by folly and our Patriotism being replaced by Party-ism?
The short answer is “Yes”.
Tea Party members are being eyed as just another piece of voting meat. Tea Party members are targeted for filling the rank and file of minion laden political operations, most of which are lead by failed Republican hacks.
Someone must have heard former Republican Senate President Lyda Green on The Shannyn Moore Show this week. Lyda warned the Tea Party, “She’s using you like she did everyone else to get where she is today.”
Has our message become so contaminated and ineffective as to be mistaken for the same old political clap-trap vomited from the kool-aid drinking mouths of the Republican elite? Shall the Tea Party be lead down the primrose path of numb contentment like so many other movements and organizations have been over the years?
Well, yes. Sarah Palin has a record of splitting whatever party she is part of. She calls it “mavericky”. How do you like her now? How do you feel about brown people?
The Republican elite say “Yes to amnesty!” But, I believe the Tea Party will not reward law breakers, especially with our most sacred commodity – ‘Citizenship in our beloved nation.’
Yet, Sarah Palin says, “Yes we can!” Proving my point is her endorsement of Open-Borders McCain. Why would any Tea Party member “want to be” on the same side of Obama-Amnesty?
Yet, High ranking Republicans, including Sarah Palin endorse Governor Rick Perry knowing full well he was instrumental in the creation of the Transnational Corridor fiasco. A government plan which would have ripped through the heartland of America, destroying domestic jobs and wrenching family owned farms from the hands of families who have worked those farms for generations.
Yikes…she sounds SCARY!
Therefore, I am calling on all Tea Party members to cling fast to our core beliefs and tell the world: What we believe is non-negotiable.
What are the Tea Party Non-negotiable core beliefs?
Good Question!? What are they…do tell!
National Budget must be balanced.Deficit Spending will end. (Sounds OK, where were you guys in 2002? or 2004? hmm…)
Bail-out and Stimulus Plans are illegal. (Again, where are you on “stimulating” the military industrial complex with the wars started by Bush?)
Reduce Personal Income Taxes a must. (OK, but can we raise them on off shore and foreign corporations?)
Reduce Business Income Taxes is mandatory. (So, who pays taxes? No one?)
Intrusive Government Stopped. (Like wiretapping? Where were you on the FISA bill?)
English only is required. (Because you don’t speak any of the Native American languages? English is the official language of England…right?)
Traditional Family Values are encouraged. (Translation: No Queers!)
Common Sense Constitutional Conservative Self-Governance is our mode of operation.
….and Yes, we are a Christian Nation! (Not according to the Founders of this country…something about separation of church and state is specific about NOT being a Christian nation.)
Special Interests Need to be Neutralized (Special Interests? Do you include corporations in that? What about “swift boaters”?
Political Office available for Average Citizens (I want above average citizens in office…but I’m all for Clean Elections that allow more access to the system and make us less reliant on corporate funding…oh, crap…see recent SCOTUS ruling.)
Illegal Aliens are illegal. (And the legal aliens are legal…which means we don’t get to have “your papers please” practices)
Pro-Domestic Employment is indispensable. (Lets scrap NAFTA and GATT to start. Tariffs on all that crap at Walmart!)
Stronger Military is essential. (Agreed…so let’s get rid of the privatized military by firing Blackwater and…wait…are you saying our troops are wussy?)
Gun ownership is sacred.(No, and in saying so you have made a graven image to worship.)
Government must be downsized. (You are correct…I’m sick of seeing fat, pasty politicians on my TeeVee telling me what I can do with my body. )
For all my disagreements with the Tea Party, they have some valid points. Sarah Palin a wolf in sheeps clothing…well, way to catch up.
We all have things we simply can’t live without. Here at Two Girls, One Brain we are fortunate enough to share the same taste in most of these necessities. Since our blog is new, we thought it would be nice to expose ourselves (wowza!) and share some of our can’t-live-withouts. Here they are, in no particular order.
1. Slim Jims
Although I am absolutely certain they have no nutritional value whatsoever, they are a staple in our diet. What is in a Slim Jim? I haven’t the foggiest….and I think it may be best left that way. These salty, perfectly seasoned meat sticks always leave us with the desire to “Snap into (another) Slim Jim.”
2. Romie and Michelle’s High School Reunion
Seen it a million times, glad to watch it a million more! What’s not to love about girls who wear sixteen pound shoes while working out, dress like “the Madonna twins,” and think that Mono was the best diet ever? If you haven’t seen it, we recommend it! Mark my word, after watching you will feel compelled to reenact the dance sequence every single time you set foot on a dance floor.
3. Granny Panties
Though lace and frills are fun and sometimes fitting, nothing says comfort like a pair of saggy undies your grandmother would be proud to wear! We’re talking full cheek coverage, saggy seat, to the belly button panties. There is no better feeling that walking around knowing if faced with the situation, you could parachute to safety with your underwear.
4. The Beach
Anytime it’s hot, sunny and we get to wear very little clothing WE ARE HAPPY! The beach is for everyone. You can get a tan (unless you are Nicole and wear SPF 8,000), take a nap, play sports, go for a dip, build an elaborate house from sand , then stomp all over it like a child, bury your friends and just plain have a good time. Hey, you might even be fortunate enough to find a fish in your bathing suit bottom when you return to your room for a shower at the end of the day (not that it has EVER happened to either of us). Hands down, the beach is great!
5. John Hughes Movies
“No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.” -Long Duk Dong, Sixteen Candles
“So… so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?” -John Bender, The Breakfast Club
“We need more input. We gotta fill this thing up with data. We gotta make her as real as possible, Wyatt. I want her to live. I want her to breathe. I want her to aerobicize.” -Garry, Weird Science
“Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
……need I say more?
6. 80s Music
Thanks to Pat Benatar, we know love is a battlefield. We appreciate Michael Jackson reminding us to take a look in the mirror. REO Speedwagon, don’t you worry, I AM going to keep on loving you! Madonna feeling like a virgin still gives me a chuckle. Queen and Bowie, no pressure, we think you guys are great! Journey, I’ll never stop believing! That isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. Music from the 80s is something to be appreciated, something to be preserved and something to enjoy as loud as possible while driving down the highway with the windows down. Nothing lifts you higher than a good jam and the 80s was full of them!
7. Being Naked
Whether you sleep naked, watch television naked or just get naked because it feels good, we fully support your urge to drop trou! Being naked feels good, and it just so happens we think its pretty funny too. It doesn’t matter if you have a saggy butt, a big belly or chicken legs, take our word and enjoy some time in the raw. You can thank us later. (seriously…..later……we don’t need to see you naked)